Selfish

It is like a daily revelation for me that my daughter is not here with us.  It feels like it was just yesterday when I was rubbing my belly and so in love with her.  I am still in love with her, more and more each day.  I miss her so much.
I love her so much, but I know that she is in Heaven and not with us.  I have to remember that she wants me to be happy and enjoy my life until I meet her again.  Faith was only with us for a short time, but in that short time, she taught me so much.
While my heart hurts for not having my daughter with me, I also know that Jesus is raising Faith, and I could certainly not ask for a better teacher.  In a way, I am envious of Faith, because she went home before me.  I am selfish…by the real definition of the word.  Not selfish like I want a candy bar and I am two years old.  Selfish in the fact that my “SELF” wants to be with my daughter.
While it is strange to feel selfish, I search myself and realize that God created us to have certain emotions and feelings for a reason.
If you are going through loss, please remember that although the person you are missing is not here, the emotions and feelings you are having are normal and you were created to feel that way for a reason.

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