I’ve been asked by people if I am seeing a therapist or if I am taking medication for my depression. I sincerely appreciate that I have friends and family that care enough to be concerned and are brave enough to speak out to me.
In light of these peoples’ concern, I have done a lot of thinking, searching, and education for myself. Here is a list of the stages people go through when they are GRIEVING.
- Denial, numbness, and shock: Numbness is a normal reaction to a death or loss and should never be confused with “not caring.” This stage of grief helps protect us from experiencing the intensity of the loss. It can be useful when we have to take some action, such as planning a funeral, notifying relatives, or reviewing important papers. As we move through the experience and slowly acknowledges its impact, the initial denial and disbelief fades.
- Bargaining: This stage of grief may be marked by persistent thoughts about what “could have been done” to prevent the death or loss. Some people become obsessed with thinking about specific ways things could have been done differently to save the person’s life or prevent the loss. If this stage of grief isn’t dealt with and resolved, the person may live with intense feelings of guilt or anger that can interfere with the healing process.
- Depression: In this stage, we begin to realize and feel the true extent of the death or loss. Common signs of depression in this stage include trouble sleeping, poor appetite, fatigue, lack of energy, and crying spells. We may also have self-pity and feel lonely, isolated, empty, lost, and anxious.
- Anger: This stage is common. It usually happens when we feel helpless and powerless. Anger can stem from a feeling of abandonment because of a death or loss. Sometimes we’re angry at a higher power, at the doctors who cared for a lost loved one, or toward life in general.
- Acceptance: In time, we can come to terms with all the emotions and feelings we experienced when the death or loss happened. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into our set of life experiences
All of these stages are normal in the grieving process. I have a great support system and most importantly, have the Peace, Comfort, and Joy of The Lord.
As I look through each of these stages, I actually can see that I have gone through some of these stages already, which is good to know. It also brings me hope to know that I am not alone and that what I am experiencing is normal.
I know that there are people who have depression and need to get professional help. If you are experiencing depression, PLEASE get professional help. If you are grieving, as I am, know that it is normal as long as you continue to go through the process.
My daughter died almost 4 months ago. I am grieving her. It is normal.