I just watched the last part of Steel Magnolias. If you haven’t seen the movie, I highly recommend it. I’ve seen it before, but watching it this time was different. I guess everything in life is different…now…
I can relate to Sally Field’s character, M’Lynn, when she uses the following quote in the cemetery scene:
“I’m fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can’t! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don’t know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know why Shelby’s life is over! I wanna know how that baby will ever know how wonderful his mother was! Will he ever know what she went through for him! Oh God I wanna know why? Why? Lord, I wish I could understand! No! No! No! It’s not supposed to happen this way! I’m supposed to go first. I’ve always been ready to go first! I-I don’t think I can take this! I-I don’t think I can take this! I-I just wanna hit somebody ’til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!”
This explains how a part of me will always feel about Faith. It is a perfect description of the initial feeling when your child dies. While there are so many things in this life that we may never understand why, part of the process is accepting that you may never know why.
It took me quite awhile, but after some time, I can truly relate to this other quote from Sally Field’s character, M’Lynn, when she says:
“There was no noise. No tremble. Just peace. Oh God.. I realize as a woman how lucky I am! I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life.. and I was there when she drifted out of it. It was the most precious moment of my life…”
This quote is by far the more difficult of the two to relate to, perhaps, as a parent, the most difficult revelation to have. While a piece of me will always feel like the first quote, in my heart, I will forever cherish the time I had with Faith. She was with me her entire life and that is one of the most precious things I can ever hope to experience. She will always be my baby girl and I will always be her mother.